Daddy Says We Need New Harnesses

Daddy says we need new harnesses. That’s a line of crap if we ever heard one. We need more bones and FREEDOM from all harnesses and leashes. Daddy says without harnesses and leashes, we might commit suicide out the car window, or run into the street and get squished. Well, he does love us, so he is probably right. He is gonna make us some special ones. Willie wants more skulls, Lance wants a "designer" one, but he’s a silly boy. Dixie is tired of those and wants something more sophisticated. But.. she’s a bitch. Lance says she is high maintenance too. You can see some pictures of our harnesses here, including the picture where he stripped us naked and hung them out to dry. it was terribly embarrassing. Anyways, please send donations for the harness fund. Don’t send large bills, only cashiers checks or money orders made to Petco. If you send cash daddy buys tires for the Lamborghini, and that sucks for everyone but Willie. He loves new tires if you know what we mean.